“He would have an enormous schwanstuker!”
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What do you call someone who worships testicles?
I don’t know but it sounds sacriligious to me.
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I’m in the hospital right now. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.
But let me just say, the Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name.
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What do you call a female police officer who doesn’t shave?
Cunt stubble.
How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes a whole ER staff to remove it.
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Yoink’d
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Rerun? IDK
What’s the difference between an epileptic clam shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
One shucks between fits.
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Two guys have been out hunting together for a few days but aren’t having any luck so they decide at camp to go in separate directions the next morning then meetup at camp.
The next evening, neither has a deer but they tell their stories of how the day went. First guy said he watched a beautiful sunrise then tracked a buck to a gorgeous clear stream until he got within a few hundred yards but just couldn’t get a clear shot.
Second guy said he didn’t see any deer but he was following some railroad tracks when he found a voluptuous 36-24-36 woman. He couldn’t believe she was out there all alone. He said he had his way with her in every position he could think of until he was exhausted so he came back to camp.
First guy asked if he got a BJ. Second guy said, “No, I couldn’t find her head”.
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I’m totally cross posting this on another forum.
Next time you’re feeling down remember life is all about perspective
I have a friend who has sex 2-3x a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week yet every day he complains about how much he hates prison.
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They conducted an autopsy on the inmate who hung himself in his cell.
Turns out he had Epstein Behind Barrs Syndrome.
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I spiced up our sex-life with some flavored condoms.
My missus said, “Wow! This one tastes just like cheese and onion”.
I said, “I haven’t put it on yet.”
As a boy, I was made to believe that earwigs lived in ears.
As a result, I was terrified of cockroaches.
Why did they stop the leper baseball game?
The left fielder dropped a ball.
The above was new for me. When I was a kid I told these:
Q: Why did they stop the leper baseball game?
A: The pitcher threw his arm out.
Q: Why did they stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
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My girlfriend said she was feeling down in the dumps.
I guess she’s been eating the duvet again.
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