Q: Who’s the most popular man in a nudist colony?
A: The one who can carry 2 cups of coffee plus 9 doughnuts at the same time.
Q: Who’s the most popular woman in a nudist colony?
A: The one who can eat the last doughnut !!
A man walks in to the doctors and says, “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter”.
The doctor looks at him and says, "Sorry, I don’t follow you”.
Q: What’s the world’s most dangerous ocean?
A: Hepatitis C.
Q: What’s the world’s most dangerous insect?
A: Hepatitis B.
Q: What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?
A: Dr. Dre
Did you hear about the shortsighted mohel?
Apparently he got the sack!
I’ve trained the dog to bring me a glass of red wine. It’s a Bordeaux collie.
Q. What do you get if you cross PrinceCharles and Queen Elizabeth?
A. Killed in a tunnel…
Two newlyweds go to a fine hotel. The husband walks up to the desk clerk and says “My wife and I just got married, and would like a room for the night”. The clerk says “Do you want our bridal”. The husband says, "Nah. I’ll just hold onto her by the ears until she gets the hang of it”.
Q: What does someone with a thick Spanish accent and very small hands use to cut pizza?
A: Little Caesars.
I went to the doctor the other day for a routine checkup. After a while he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why since it surely couldn’t be bad for my health. He replied "no no its perfectly healthy… It’s just distracting.”
Q: What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
A: One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Q: What’s the first thing a Blond asks when she wakes up in the morning?
A: Are you guys on the same team?
Q; What do yo call a naked blonde doing a head stand?
A: A Brunette with bad breath