Ruh roh, Trump just picked up the all important and coveted Confederate endorsement!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjPmzw1SbBk&feature=youtu.be
Did I post this here somewhere already?
Oh well, fuk it.
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I really think this video could be an ad for Hillary. Imagine CLINTON 2016 splashed at the end.
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SNL does the debate. Alec Baldwin nails his Trump impression.
From humorlabs.com (I sometimes contribute to these lists)
====================
The Top 16 Differences If the Election Were Run by Dogs
16> Vote tabulation has to be restarted every time someone spots a squirrel.
15> Lots of growling whenever someone praises “our vets.”
14> Ballots would be cast by urinating on the candidate. Hey, what a great idea!
13> “What’s that, Lassie? You say Grandpa Tim might have accidentally voted for Hillary?”
12> Debates preceded by a few minutes sniffing moderator ass.
11> Entire election thrown into chaos when it’s alleged that thousands of voters appeared to throw ballots into box but actually just hid them behind their backs.
10> Voters even more easily distracted by butterfly ballots.
9> Donald Trump caught rubbing bacon grease next to his name on all paper ballots.
8> No sense in trying to throw your vote away – they’ll just retrieve it.
7> “Exit Polling” just a fancy name for butt sniffing.
6> The constant barking, whining and sniffing at each other would be more understandable than it is now.
5> “Mr. Candidate, please respond to the question: Do you wanna go to the park? Huh? Huh? Wanna catch the ball?”
4> Americans forced to decide between lesser of two beagles.
3> Campaigning for Hillary, Al Gore looks for an edge by changing his name to Al Po.
2> “And if you elect me president, I promise to execute Mariah Carey.”
and HumorLabs's Number 1 Difference
if the Election Were Run by Dogs...
1> No difference at all: Either way, you end up with a steaming pile of democracy!
[ Copyright 2000 by Chris White ]
==================================================================
The Runners Up & Honorable Mention submissions
Runners up were almost good enough to make the main list,
but got edged out by other submissions. Honorable mentions
were good enough to still deserve some recognition.
Differences If the Election Were Run by Dogs
RUNNERS UP list -- Down, Boy
Although not in one of the two major parties, Jill Stein still lands 100% of “yappy little dog vote.”
“And let me also point out that the commissioner, Ms. Fifi, has been a hardworking, dependable and all-around spectacular bitch.”
“I knew Rin Tin Tin. I chased cats with Rin Tin Tin. And you, Rover, are no Rin Tin Tin.”
Ballots too confusing? Time to put grandma to sleep.
Democratic Party workers roundly criticized for driving miniature Chuck wagon through Detroit as part of a “get out the vote” effort.
Eligibility to vote is permanently lost for any human who has ever – intentionally or unintentionally – pretended to throw a stick but did not actually throw it.
Entire election thrown into chaos when several elderly voters in Palm Beach county accidentally fall into wells, triggering a “Lassie effect” crisis among election workers.
Four words: Leg-humpin’ Democrat attorneys!
In a close race, the candidate with the stinkiest butt wins.
Out: Butterfly ballots
In: Dried beef liver ballots
Rampant claims of mailman intimidation.
Recount process: “Two votes for Hillary; two biscuits for me!
Three votes for Trump; three biscuits for me!!”
Republican concerns about counting ballots by paw might actually seem legitimate.
Differences If the Election Were Run by Dogs
HONORABLE MENTION list -- Yo Quiero Comedy
“Make sure you pee on the first fireplug for Trump and the SECOND fireplug for Hillary!”
270 wet electoral hydrants required for victory.
All hanging chads sniffed to determine the voters’ intent, and in the event of a dispute, piddled on.
Although not known for their counting skills, they still would have figured out who won days ago.
Anyone named “Katz” would be immediately disqualified.
Back-alley dirty politics mostly confined to fighting over the contents of the Italian restaurant’s trash cans.
Ballots in Palm Beach, Florida triple-sized for the benefit of the slow-witted canines found there.
Brings a whole new meaning to “marking the ballot.”
Close elections now decided by recount, absentee vote, and “retrieved” votes.
Don’t bother to bring your voter registration card. A simple sniff between the legs is all that is necessary.
Election disputes would be settled in a contest between the two strongest males and their pack, struggling for supremacy and the right to be called the alpha mal… Er, never mind.
Frisbee catching? The masses will decide. Frisbee throwing? Step up to the podium.
If your opponent says you’re a dog, you can pretty much say, “Well… yeah.”
Instead of a concession speech, losing candidate must lie on his back, fully exposing privates and soft underbelly to winning candidate.
Losing candidate demands investigation and recount; Election Commission immediately turns on him and tears him apart as a pack.
Losing candidates whacked on the butt with a newspaper and forced to sleep in the garage for the night.
Missing ballots found in greyhound’s urine sample.
Much debate about the value of the Electoral Collar.
Negative ads now proclaim opponent “increased spending on Friskies over 200%!”
Out: stumping
In: humping
Palm Beach Lhasa Apsos protesting the fact they couldn’t see the ballots correctly due to too much hair in their eyes.
Roll the candidate on his back and scratch his belly. If his left leg starts twitching, there’s your winner.
Run-off only necessary in the event of squirrels.
The recount wouldn’t just be a figurative pissing contest.
They’d keep the fat cats out of Washington.
Votes of strays are easily bought with “Beggin’ Strips.”
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Didn’t Gerard Depardieu move to Russia to avoid paying taxes? They could be rommies.
I think they’d make a nice couple.
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