You OK?
Just checkin’. Didn’t see you today.
And DM, I hope you’re hanging in there.
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I’m still here. There are going to be good and bad days and today was a particularly bad one. Inability to swallow even liquids without intense pain in my esophagus… and when I can get it down it mostly comes back up. I want to just sleep through it, but can only sleep sitting up or will choke endlessly on reflux. I am going to request the feeding tube when I meet with my oncologist Monday. I just wish they would start the fukking chemo or tell me it’s over and give me something to ease things. Monday, I guess.
Today was my wife’s birthday. I tried to wrap the 4 or 5 Small gifts I had bought her before all this bullshit started. I got one done and just set the rest on the table. I just fukking hate this.
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Shit. I am so sorry. I’m still praying for you.
Tell your wife happy birthday.
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Oh hello! I’m fine, just a bit preoccupied at the moment.
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DM, last seen two days ago.
God dammit, you hacked me, din’t you?
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You are eFUKT dude.
Yeah. Seriously.
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He’s a good dude, we’re all pulling for him. Good to see ya Hanson.
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Wow - looks like my lobbying opened the doors. Hope theDawg is back soon.
Hi Jeffie.
@D_M last seen four days ago. I hope he’s getting treatment that is wiping him out, but ultimately helping him.
Prayers.
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I’m still here… and thank you all for the prayers and kind words. I don’t know how much I’ll be checking in anymore until and unless things get any better. The past week has been pretty much hell physically, mentally and emotionally and I just don’t have the desire to even get on a computer. I really don’t understand how this came on so fast and furious. Anyway, I’m stage 3 for now pending results of the PET scan it just had a few hours ago to see if it’s spread to other organs and lymph nodes. That will of course determine a lot of things regarding treatment options or whatever. I signed some papers today giving my wife power of attorney in the event I can no longer make rational decisions. After this last week I know it’s important as I had real problems even talking to doctors and making appointments.
My oncologist gave me a script for morphine today. That helped a lot and is the only way I was able to come here now. Much better than forcing down gobs of Naproxen and hydrocodeine, which I mostly puke back up. Still begging for a feeding tube but they seem to want to wait . Maybe the morphine will allow me to get some stuff down.
I’ll try to check back in sometime. I don’t want leave your hanging if things go south too quickly. Man, I love guys… I really do.
Nick
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Sending all the good vibrations your way I can my friend.
Praying like crazy for you, Nick. Hang in there! 
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Hoping my best hopes for you, friend.
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