Great news! Some of the old favorite singers and bands have re-released their great hits with new titles and lyrics to accommodate their aging audience. Some examples:
Herman’s Hermits: “Mrs. Brown You’ve Got a Lovely Walker”
The Rolling Stones: “You Can’t Always Pee When You Want”
Creedence Clearwater Revival: “Bad Prune Rising”
Marvin Gaye: “I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts”
The Who: “Talkin’ 'Bout My Medication”
The Troggs: “Bald Thing”
Carly Simon: “You’re So Varicose Vein”
The Bee Gees: “How Can You Mend a Broken Hip”
Roberta Flack: “The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face”
Johnny Nash: “I Can’t See Clearly Now”
The Temptations: “Papa Got a Kidney Stone”
ABBA: “Denture Queen”
Leo Sayer: “You Make Me Feel Like Napping”
Commodores: “Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom”
Procol Harem: “A Whiter Shade of Hair”
The Beatles: "I Get By With a Little Help From Depends”.
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Clever concert event. About 2 minutes, worth a watch to the end.
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So, I got married once…to a woman that was a solid 7/10. She wanted kids right away. Gets her wish, so fast forward 9 months, baby is on the way. I am in the waiting room because I couldn’t handle it. I see my child for the first time.
Told her she could name the baby anything she wanted and she tells the doctor that her name is ‘Love’. Wife isn’t a hippy or anything and I’m not a huge fan, but heck, I promised her.
Fast forward 10 years. Love comes back from school crying. I ask her what’s wrong. Says she is being bullied because of her name. I cheer her up with some ice cream. Problem solved and best dad award achieved.
Fast Forward 7 more years. Love has turned into a 9/10. She dresses normal. Always wears red nail polish. But she is shy, very shy. She is still mocked constantly because of her not so ordinary name. She comes home from school one day, obviously disturbed. I ask her if it’s about her name. She says nothing and just kisses me on the cheek and leaves. First time she has kissed me since she was a baby. Just wasn’t her thing.
Then, I hear my wife pulling in. She is home early from work. I hear the door open from daughter’s room. The door then opens from garage. Loud blast goes off directly behind me. I fall to the ground. Wife looks at me and screams. I look down and see bullet through my chest. Love says something about her name. I look up at my still beautiful wife and I say:
“Shot through the heart And you’re to blame, You gave Love a bad name!”
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I used to be in a band called Missing Cat. You probably saw our posters.
My friends and I are in a band called Duvet. We’re a cover band.
I used to be in a band called Origami. We folded.
I used to be in a band called T-Mobile, but we kept breaking up.
I used to be in a band called The Hinges. We fronted The Doors.
I started a band called The Sewers. You probably never heard of us . We were underground.
I was in a band called White Line. We were described as middle of the road.
New boy band in Syria: New Kids On What Used To Be The Block
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You guys are fretting this way too much.
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Isn’t the middle line yellow?
/runs
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
That’s awesome!
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I don’t care for the tenor of his voice there
He’s just playing with them.