Coronavirus Cackles

Watch the man behind this petite woman.

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Look ma, The Coronas canā€™t get past this!

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Mom, Iā€™m bored.

Why donā€™t you, Bobby and Mikey go fool around in my bedroom.

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One-liner dump, sorry for the repeats

  1. Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
  2. I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like Iā€™m cracking a safe.
  3. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
  4. Still havenā€™t decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
  5. PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
  6. Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
  7. I donā€™t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks weā€™d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
  8. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dogā€¦ we laughed a lot.
  9. So, after this quarantineā€¦will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
  10. Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
  11. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
  12. Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
  13. Iā€™m so excited ā€” itā€™s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
  14. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. Iā€™m getting tired of Los Livingroom.
  15. Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
  16. Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said ā€œI hope I donā€™t have the same teacher next yearā€ā€¦ Iā€™m offended.
  17. Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under
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https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/p960x960/92093684_2903892256360967_756883420646211584_o.jpg?_nc_cat=108&_nc_sid=2d5d41&_nc_ohc=BjXXnyy5xX8AX9UoZpW&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=424385410181d0a5d1448cfc59da06eb&oe=5EB27702

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The amount of bad Coronavirus jokes are starting to reach worrying numbers.

Some scientists claim it might become a pundemic.

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Today, I scored TP gold!

Six-pack, mega rolls, for $5.25.

:sunglasses:

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Holy shit! So was that like a single ply, or what?

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Today I was also able to score eggs, frozen & fresh fruit & veggies, pastaā€¦ and thereā€™s TP (cheap-ass 1- and 2-ply) to be had tho we had our cubby for that full of the good stuff before this even became a thing. Blood orange season is also producing late this year, no complaints from me.

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Double.

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Noice!

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